Nicholas Kristof, Sheryl WuDunn, and their son at Tiananmen Square

I’m very impressed by how much Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn were able to accomplish together. Not only did they co-write Half the Sky, they were the first married couple to win a Pulitzer Prize for their reporting from Beijing about the Tiananmen Square protests of 1989. Not only are they at each other’s sides nearly 24/7 raising awareness of gender inequality worldwide, they also have three children, and are apparently still not sick of each other. If their day jobs don’t work out, they might want to consider becoming marriage counselors.

Cool fact: Sheryl also got her undergraduate degree at Cornell University. Deborah Streeter, one of my past professors/current mentor/all-around amazing person interviewed Sheryl for Cornell eClips.

Great talk WuDunn gave at TED:

Slightly unrelated to this blog post but hilarious video by George Clooney about rooming with Nicholas Kristof:

I really loved Elizabeth Gilbert’s talk at TED about nurturing creativity.

I watched this speech exactly a year ago and had no idea what in the world she was talking about. Now that I spend a good chunk of my free time doing creative writing myself, find that I relate to what she is saying about 100%. Most storylines, dialogue, anything truly creative, hits me at the most random times throughout the day. I snatch them instantly so I don’t forget and will later cull from this list when I sit down to write.

“I have had work or ideas come through me from a source that I honestly cannot identify. And what is that thing? And how are we to relate to it in a way that will not make us lose our minds, but, in fact, might actually keep us sane?”

Favorite part of her speech:

I happen to remember that over 20 years ago, when I first started telling people — when I was a teenager — that I wanted to be a writer, I was met with this sort of fear-based reaction. And people would say, “Aren’t you afraid you’re never going to have any success? Aren’t you afraid the humiliation of rejection will kill you? Aren’t you afraid that you’re going to work your whole life at this craft and nothing’s ever going to come of it and you’re GOING TO DIE ON A SCRAP HEAP OF BROKEN DREAMS WITH YOUR MOUTH FILLED WITH THE BITTER ASH OF FAILURE?”

… The answer — the short answer to all those questions is, “Yes.” Yes, I’m afraid of all those things. And I always have been … When it comes to writing the thing that I’ve been thinking about lately, and wondering about lately, is why? You know, is it rational? Is it logical that anybody should be expected to be afraid of the work that they feel they were put on this Earth to do? You know, and what is it specifically about creative ventures that seems to make us really nervous about each other’s mental health in a way that other careers don’t do?

Like my dad, for example, was a chemical engineer and I don’t recall once in his 40 years of chemical engineering anybody asking him if he was afraid to be a chemical engineer. Like, “Got chemical engineering block John, how’s it going?” It just didn’t come up like that. But to be fair, chemical engineers as a group haven’t really earned a reputation over the centuries for being alcoholic manic-depressives.

This past April, a business plan I had developed with my two classmates Jeff Chen and Nelson Yan won 1st place in the 2010 Cornell University Big Idea Competition.

It was a pretty amazing experience, especially considering the fact that we didn’t even make it to the top 12 finalists. A week before the presentation, I was contacted by the event coordinator, Will Brassel, who said that one of the finalist teams had dropped out and would we still be interested in presenting. I said “Of course” and then didn’t sleep for about a week.

The business plan was developed in David BenDaniel’s NBA 3000: Entrepreneurship and Private Equity class at the Johnson School at Cornell University in fall 2009. The judges for that semester – Jason Hogg and Steve Gal – were extremely helpful with their feedback, advice, and time.

I’d like to give a major shout-out to Romi Kher, AEM Entrepreneurship professor Deborah Streeter, and my NBA 3000 TA Courtney Wilkinson for helping me with my pitch. The three of them emphasized what I will have stamped in my brain forever – keep things simple. And try not to talk so fast.

The judges had to sit through twelve presentations and each pitch was only allowed three minutes. Make sure they actually understand what your idea is about. Forget the fancy powerpoint graphics and big words. What is the story you’re telling?

Even though there were about 250 people in the audience (15 of them judges), I had practiced so much I was pretty much on autodrive during the presentation. The sea of faces blended together and I forgot about being nervous. Never thought my year would end on such a bang!

Elizabeth Gilbert, author of "Eat, Pray, Love"

I finally got the chance to see Eat, Pray, Love over the weekend and would like to defend the movie, the book, the author (Elizabeth Gilbert) and even the actress playing the author (Julia Roberts).

First off, I read the book several months ago before watching the movie and didn’t think Gilbert’s attitude in the book was self-centered or hedonistic at all. Let’s be clear about one thing – Gilbert financed the trip herself. She received a major book advance for the premise of Eat, Pray, Love and traveled around the world with that money.

Why did someone like Gilbert receive all that money? Because she had proved in the past that she was actually a good writer. She was a good writer who was not only capable of stringing together a coherent sentence but also received critical acclaim and awards for her short stories, long stories, and books.

Gilbert did not travel around the world on trust fund money from her WASPy parents or wealthy husband. Gilbert wasn’t some rich, white woman who suddenly decided to go to Italy, India, and Bali on a whim because she was rich and white. Nearly every review I’ve read about the movie criticizes Gilbert for being a “rich, white American” who didn’t have a care in the world and was able to do what she did because she was rich and white. Did I mention how rich and white she is?

No, the book advance was money Gilbert had earned on her own and she was entitled to do whatever the hell she wanted with it.

Second, the man she ended up meeting in Bali – Felipe – looked NOTHING like actor Javier Bardem. Columbia Pictures took some pretty extreme measures in casting Bardem to portray a man who, in real life, was 17 years older than Gilbert and did not look like a spring chicken or a sexy Brazilian man. I bet you nearly everyone would have shut up about how unfair it was that Gilbert met the love of her life in Bali if they knew what he looked like in reality.

Elizabeth and Felipe on their wedding day

Third, I get the feeling that most people are unconsciously more annoyed with actress Julia Roberts than the (real-life) character of Elizabeth Gilbert herself. When I say Julia Roberts, you immediately think of romantic comedies. As a female, you become irritated because her romantic comedies make you feel bad about your own life (and that lazy boyfriend/husband of yours). As a male, you become irritated because every time your girlfriend/wife watches a Julia Roberts movie, she gets in a bad mood afterward over why you don’t act like the men wooing Ms. Roberts.  I swear, it’s almost like watching Pavlov’s dogs when I mention Julia Roberts.

Julia Roberts as Elizabeth Gilbert in "Eat, Pray, Love"

The instant you heard Roberts’ name attached to Eat, Pray, Love you thought, “Oh GOD, another romantic comedy that will make me feel nauseous and bad about my own love life.” You then went into the film with that mentality without even considering the fact that the themes in Gilbert’s memoir were maybe more significant than what is usually presented in a Julia Roberts movie.

And they were more significant. I personally admire Elizabeth Gilbert (the author) for ending a marriage that she knew wasn’t working. Rather than live her life in misery, knowing that her growing unhappiness would eventually not only be a detriment to her mental and physical health but her husband’s as well, Gilbert chose to do a very difficult thing. How many people do you know would “stick it out” and hope that things get better when they already know deep down that it won’t and that it would only be a matter of time before things progressed from bad to worse?

Despite how indulgent that year abroad may have seemed, Gilbert was doing it because she did feel like she needed to get away and “discover” who she was. (And, let’s not forget, she had her own money to do so). I liked the fact that she stated upfront – “Since I was 15, I’ve been with a guy. I really need to be by myself for a while and get my shit together.”

A side note about the movie and Julia Roberts – both really weren’t that bad. Roberts may like to play it safe, but she does a good job in her roles. The movie never got over the top and made me want to hurl on the person sitting in front of me. I think Ryan Murphy did a fine job with this project.

The next time someone complains about Eat, Pray, Love, ask them for a legit reason as to why they didn’t like the movie and then tell them to go read her book.

Trailer for Eat, Pray, Love:

"Time passes in moments. Moments which rushing past, define the path of a life just as surely as they lead towards its end." -Dana Scully in "all things"

I think I may be having a slight “fifth” life crisis. I’m 22 years old, three months out of college, and the thought that I have 80+ years left on this giant blue/green marble we call Planet Earth seems almost incomprehensible. I didn’t become who I am today until around two years ago (it took me 20 years to grow up – I was a really slow beginner), so I tend to think of my life really starting my junior year of college.

As I mentioned in a previous blog entry about life in Florida after graduation, I really love my job and my co-workers. However, the realization that I’m not in school anymore, that there isn’t a set path for me to follow, is a little frightening. In college, you tend to have an idea of what to work toward every year:

Get good grades + participate in extracurricular activities + do well in your summer internship + (probably most important) schmooze with the right people = Get a job after graduation that will make you lots of money and/or happy.

I guess you could say there is a path I could follow post-college given my background. The next ten years of my life seem almost planned out – I’d spend 3-4 years at my current job, go to business school, work for another company at a higher position with a higher salary, and get married.

The fact that there is a template I’m supposed to follow makes me not want to follow it. I don’t even think that’s the path I want to take. (But given how naïve I probably am now about what I want, it’s best to regard whatever I say next with a huge pound of salt. In fact, I’ll probably look back at what I wrote a year from now and laugh my ass off).

My goals (at this point in time anyway) include starting my own payments company and becoming a billionaire so that I can start my own movie studio and bankroll/produce huge event spectacle films – ones with budgets of $50 million plus. I want to make movies that people are excited to see, not ones I have to beg people to watch. I’d also like to marry Conan O’Brien but that might be a bit of a stretch. Check back with me in 20 years and see how I’m doing.

Just last week, I decided to start on a small scale with that goal and bankroll short films with budgets of $1000-$5000. Any dollar not going toward my rent, food, or 401K is going toward my “movie-making” fund. I decided to stop talking about “building my dream movie studio” and actually do it. The stories that would be brought to the screen are ones I’ve created.

One that my friend Stephen Guilbert and I are currently working on is about a college girl on the verge of graduation who has an emotional affair with an older married friend (not autobiographical, I swear). I see it being shot Before Sunrise/Before Sunset style.   The second one I’m writing now is more of a TV pilot-style 21 minute screenplay about two people getting used to life after college. Given what a big fan I am of sexual tension, this screenplay is positively drenched in it. It’ll be like Scully and Mulder for the young adult set. The dialogue veers on Gilmore Girls territory, and the acting infringes upon Arrested Development.

I never thought three months ago that I’d be spending almost all my time outside of work writing creative stories. Once I got into the work force, I started to notice a lot of things about life and people that I unwittingly began putting down on paper. After a while, I realized that I could create stories and funny dialogue out of my observations and began to write.

I just have to say one thing about creative writing – it’s REALLY HARD. Lines and dialogue will often fly into of my head at random times during the day (the best ones often leap into my brain right as I’m about to fall asleep – I guess that’s when I’m most meditative), and I usually collect those thoughts instantly so I don’t forget later. Sometimes, I can’t think of anything novel or interesting (ironically enough, this usually happens when I sit down with the intent of writing) and I just want to cry because the writer’s block is so maddeningly intense.

It’s usually at those points when I wonder how the hell Mitch Hurwitz was able to write his Arrested Development scripts, how he was able to create such a great flow between his dialogue (Hurwitz is the king of wordplay), characters, and situations, how he was able to make everything make sense. I’ve come to the conclusion that he must be some kind of genius.

Although I usually spend my free time writing, I’ve begun to notice the exact number of weeks that have been passing me by, and wondering what I have to show for it. I sometimes get restless and stir-crazy on the weekends, wondering if my writing or what I do outside of work is going to produce anything of value, if I’ll have anything to show for myself a year from now. This feeling of uneasiness is hard to get rid of. No wonder so many writers drink or, in Elizabeth Gilbert’s words, are “alcoholic manic-depressives.”

I’ve begun to notice the minutes ticking away on my life. I read a lot of movie reviews and one of the things people write if they hated the film is, “That’s two hours of my life I’m never getting back.” Given what I’ve noticed about how most people spend their life, that’s the least of their concerns. They should be more concerned about not wasting their life on the trivial matters we burden ourselves with everyday.

People at work will often mention something relating to time that highlight the gravitas of it. Someone will mention that her 22-year-marriage anniversary is coming up and I’ll suddenly realize that’s how long I’ve been alive. I mentioned one day that I was born in ’88, that I was a child of the ‘90s, and one of my older co-workers looked at me in shock, “Holy COW!”

I think that I’m lucky to have some semblance of an idea of what it is I’d like to accomplish in my life. I may not know how exactly I’ll get there (in my mind, I see a dusty, never-ending road, something out of a Jack Kerouac novel) but I know I’m not getting any younger. Time may be a very abstract concept but it can sneak up and whack me in the head with a frying pan without warning. I really, REALLY hope I’m utilizing my time well so it doesn’t.

"Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart." - Steve Jobs

Elizabeth Bennett and Mr. Darcy

I’ve never read Pride and Prejudice (I couldn’t even get through Seth Grahame-Smith’s tongue-in-cheek novel Pride and Prejudice and Zombies) or seen any of the movie adaptations except the one Joe Wright directed in 2005. The story itself just seemed so dull - girl meets boy, they can’t stand each other, they eventually fall in love, THE END.

So when I was strapped to a chair against my will and forced to sit through Joe Wright’s Pride and Prejudice, I was more than pleasantly surprised by what a great movie it was. It had everything to do with the casting and performances – Keira Knightley‘s Elizabeth Bennett was a very strong-willed girl who didn’t settle and could hold her own against Mr. Darcy. (Matthew Macfadyen look quite baffled throughout the first half of the film, probably by the fact that Bennett had opinions of her own and would call him out on his behavior). I find it incredibly impressive that Keira was only 18 when this was shot – I could barely put a sentence together when I was 18.

The sisters in Pride and Prejudice

On a site note, I find it interesting to note that the four other actresses who played the other Bennett sisters have gone on to considerable fame of their own -

1) Carey Mulligan most notably, for her roles in An Education, Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps, and the upcoming Never Let Me Go (also starring Knightley)

2) Jena Malone who has long been famous for her work in American indie films

3) Rosamund Pike – known for her supporting roles in American and UK films and being engaged to Pride and Prejudice director Joe Wright

4) Talulah Riley – Ironically more known in Silicon Valley than Hollywood because of her engagement to Tesla CEO Elon Musk (which isn’t really an accomplishment but hey, she’s only 24 – let’s give her some time)

The trailer for the film is quite charming -

The staffers/teachers/mentors at BayUP - Losmeiya is in the top row, second to the left

Below is a short entry from Losmeiya Huang about her experience working at BayUP in Oakland this past summer -

I love Star’s blog – it’s the only place where she ever compliments me. She is a glorious liar – I love it.

Oakland is what many see as a “ghettohood” in California, and what I have come to see as a city with a lotta swag. This summer I participated in Bay Area Urban Projects (BayUP), a program run by InterVarsity Christian Fellowship. One of the main intentions of the program is to seek the intersection of faith and justice.

I had a lot of doubts, questions, life “baggage” going into BayUP. Among the plethora of thoughts racing through my head were: What does it mean to love other people? There’s this passage in the Bible that talks about love, namely how you should “love your neighbor as yourself” (Book of Mark, Verse 12:26).  What does that even mean? To love your neighbor as yourself? What does it mean to love someone, period right?

I learned about love through the four other people I lived with and the kids I worked with at Campfire USA.

For 5 weeks, I dwelt in the basement of a beautiful Victorian home that belongs to Pastor Dan, his wife Jan, their son Peter, and dog Jumper. We intentionally lived on a tight budget – $15 per person, per week.  With great budgeting skills, and amazing friends, we managed to only spend $350ish dollars for all 5 of us (which includes food/laundry/misc). Though this is an extremer version of living frugally, it’s really doable and even then, we were very blessed to have a lot of our expenses paid for and to have resources to turn to in times of need.

The harder part was really living so closely with 4 other people. We were literally together 24/7. I don’t think married couples even do this. I learned to be vulnerable, to share openly, to trust that we were a team and to grapple with my faith on a deeper level. Addressing my doubts with God, saying things outloud, experiencing people despite my prejudices were all things that taught me a lot about the second greatest commandment that God calls people to do.

At camp, I learned to have patience, patience, and some more patience.  We were unexpectedly put in charge of designing and running all the camp activities, while building relationships with the 30+ different kids that attended everyday (there were nearly 75 kids that came through camp at some point).  We all struggled with finding a balance in loving a child – being kind to them, trusting them, giving them leeway with rules -  and putting our foot down – saying no, taking away their stars, being stern, sending kids home.

I learned that though many of the kids talked big, they were really just kids – so so young, so lost, and so misunderstood. I learned to love them given their backgrounds and their quirky, too often defiant personalities. I learned about Yemeni, Black, and Guatemalan cultures. I got to see what life looked like growing up in the projects and in families where only one parent is present, if at all. I learned about this concept of “inner-city youth”,  the amazing talents that these kids already possessed, and how important early childhood development is from before a baby even leaves the womb. I learned that it absolutely takes a village to raise a child, and how absolutely insane it is to expect one teacher to raise 30 kids.

Part of loving someone means recognizing my own biases and prejudices. Do I love someone from a different race? Do I love someone from a different income level? Do I love someone that from the beginning, there’s just something about them that bloody irritates me? In choosing to follow God, I am asked to love everyone, not just the people who help me, who I like, who I feel nonthreatening vibes from. I am asked to re-think how I see people and to embrace others despite how messy their lives might be.  I am asked to think about re-imagine myself, to realize that I believe in a God who adores me despite all my insecurities, all my mistakes, all my shortcomings.

At Tryst in DC: We're not normally this hunched-over - just squeezing in to take this pic

My best friend, Losmeiya Huang, graduated from Stanford University with a degree in Human Biology in June 2010. She spent the summer working at a faith-based program called Bay Area Urban Projects (BayUP) in Oakland, CA. One of its intentions was for the participants to experience how low-income families live and the challenges they face. Losmeiya lived on a $15 per person per week budget, and was only allowed 1 hour on the phone/internet each week. Losmeiya finished the BayUP program several days ago and will write a blog entry detailing her experience later this week.

Because of of the whole “1 hour on the phone/internet each week” rule, we didn’t have any form of communication with one another for two months straight, the longest I’ve gone without speaking with her. I would send Losmeiya an email each week talking about what was going on in my post-grad life. It felt strange not to get a response. I felt like one of those people in a far-away land who would write letters home to my family for years on end but would never get a response back for one reason or the other. It was like shouting into the darkness, never knowing if anyone could hear me.

Surprisingly enough, I got through those two months just fine. Losmeiya’s the closest thing to family I have so imagine not talking to your parents for two months straight. Why is she so important to me?

Below is a (hysterically funny) letter I wrote for her on her 22nd birthday and a (hilarious yet heartfelt) story I wrote about the two of us last year.

MARCH 5, 2010 BIRTHDAY LETTER

Losmeiya, just in case you forgot, today was your 22nd birthday. What’s my gift to you? Nothing, except this note. It took me an hour to write and because I’m a Very Important Person, an hour of my time is worth $300. So that basically means I got you a $300 gift. You’re welcome.

You know what a 22nd birthday means? You’re just about done with college. That’s pretty crazy, considering the fact that it feels like yesterday when you told me you were going to Stanford. And when I told you I decided on Cornell in Ithaca, you said, “Where the hell is that?”

About a million things have changed since then. You decided to be a doctor, then decided you weren’t going to be a doctor, and then decided to be a doctor again. (My head is starting to spin). You decided you were an East Coast person after your stint in DC and said that you were going to die, JUST DIE if you had to stay in California. You began jetting off to places like Sierra Leone to help save lives. You dropped out of school for three months and joined a biker gang where you rode around stealing young children’s lunch money.

Oh wait, that last one was me.

What else has college done? It’s helped you to develop into the most mature and genuine person I know. You have much better judgment and sense than anyone I know at our age. I feel that’s why our relationship is so strong – we’re completely honest with each other and there are no facades. You make me laugh, I make you laugh even harder, and we talk about everything together. Knowing that you’re just a phone call away is the most comforting feeling in the world. Even though I only physically see you about 4-5 times a year, you might as well be living next door.

I know you have some post-grad anxieties right now (who doesn’t) but you shouldn’t be worried. I’ve looked into my crystal ball and see amazing things in your future. You’ll become a world famous doctor. Jeffrey Sachs and Nicholas Kristof will come to you for advice. You’ll develop your own foundation that puts the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation to shame. And you’ll win the Nobel Peace Prize. All before the age of 30.

You have a lot of work to do, amiga. Get busy – you’re going to change the world.

Your best friend since first grade (don’t any of you bitches forget it!),
Star

P.S. Just kidding about your gift. I’ll be getting you that TomTom GPS with a Snoop Dog voiceskin (you know, the one you’ve been unabashedly bothering me about) when we figure out whether or not you’ll be using your car post-grad. Ya DIGGG??

1999 at Knott's Berry Farm in CA

2009 at the Smithsonian zoo in DC

2089 at a nursing home somewhere

FEBRUARY 20, 2009 SPIRITCLIPS STORY

This is the story of friendship and a very lucky girl. And this story is dedicated to my best friend, Losmeiya.

Remember how we met in first grade? I remember being so impressed by you.  You were always well dressed with lovely shoulder-length hair while I often came to school in mismatched clothes with my severely outdated upside-down bowl haircut.

You were so smart: I asked you once what a noun was in class one afternoon and you said very primly that it was a place, person, or thing. I remember being blown away and thought you were some kind of genius.

We became friends then and I’m not sure what compelled us to remain friends back when we were so young, especially when you moved away. Fate must have gotten involved somehow because I remember us always staying in touch.

Remember, starting around fifth grade when we’d meet up every weekend? I’d walk halfway from my home in Temple City, you’d walk halfway from your home in San Gabriel, we’d meet up, walk together to SuperDuper Video Store, borrow a DVD movie, split lunch at Dennys in that K-Mart plaza, walk back to your house to watch the movie, and then just hang out?

Remember how easily entertained we were? We’d hang out in your garage that was filled with scooters and that large backseat your dad took out from his van. You’d tell me jokes that you heard on the old television show “Whose Line Is It Anyway” and I’d always laugh hysterically. We’d play the “Clue” board game and I’d get mad when you won. We used to watch Britney Spears videos because we were both obsessed with her. We’d play make-believe games in your backyard which was always highly entertaining. How did we not get bored of this weekly routine?

Remember also how before we’d spend the entire day together, I’d call you when I woke up and we’d talk for an hour about god-knows-what and then literally meet up an hour later in person? How did we not get bored with one another?

Remember how during one Halloween, when we were out trick-or-treating, someone pointed to us and said, “Oh look, twins!”

Remember how easy-going and trusting our parents were? They were dropping us off at places like theme parks since we were 11 years old and never warned us about not talking to strangers, just “Don’t go on any scary rides!”

Remember how your mom was such a great cook and I used to eat dinner at your house more often than I did at my own? And when I told your mom she should open her own restaurant you said I was crazy and that if she did, I’d be the only customer?

Remember how you used to say the most ridiculous things?

“Star, someone died in the house I’m living in. That’s why we were able to get it for so cheap. In fact, he … WAS SHOT IN THIS VERY ROOM!”

“My name is very important. My dad spent months and months coming up with it. ‘Los’ is from the fact that we live in Los Angeles. ‘Mei’ means beauty in Chinese. And I’m not sure where he got the ‘ya’ from.”

I said some pretty ridiculous things as well.

“I was mean to you yesterday because my eyes turned green and a monster took over my body.”

“When I become the next Britney Spears, you can be my back-up dancer.”

“I can’t believe you won’t transfer schools to be with me! I thought we were best friends! … NO, I don’t think I’m being possessive and unreasonable. I don’t know where you’re getting that from.”

Remember how my mom made me go to China with her for a month back in July 2001 and I was so bored out of my mind I’d thought I go insane? I began writing long letters to you everyday, which was very therapeutic – it was like a diary for my thoughts but with you as the end reader. I still remember some of what I wrote – “Losmeiya, it’s so dirty here. I think if your mom saw the place she’d have a heart attack.” “Losmeiya, I’m SOO bored. And my mom’s mad because I didn’t bring my piano books with me. Like I want to spend an entire month practicing piano in China.” I remember you putting all my letters neatly together in a giant folder because I had written so much and you said my writing made you laugh.

Remember how we stopped hanging out as much when we got to high school? I began focusing on my schoolwork while you began winning speech competitions all over California?

I still remember when we made our college decisions – you were heading off to Stanford and I was going to Cornell. I never worried about us drifting apart – we had already gone through so much together.

But remember when you asked me to think over our relationship last summer because you felt our values had changed and we weren’t the same people we were in the past? I remember being offended because I didn’t want to consider the possibility that I was being a bad friend. But that really made me think about where I wanted our relationship to be 5, 10, 30 years from now. I feel that’s what going through marriage or couples counseling must be like.  You’re in shock that your partner would accuse you of such things but when you think about it, realize that your partner’s right. Things aren’t the same now as they were in the past and we have to evolve together if we want to make it.

I remember how our relationship changed for the better after that. I feel so lucky now that you were mature enough to step back and say you weren’t happy with where we were headed. You said you did this because you cared enough about me to go through this uncomfortable phase because you had hope that I’d understand what you were doing.

Maybe that’s why we stayed best friends all these years. You were always there for me and made me a better person. I wasn’t close to my parents because they were working all the time and I didn’t have any siblings, but you were always there. I’ve only recently realized what a positive influence you were on me and I’m sure you will continue to be so as the years go by. In fact, when I’m asked to describe you, I just tell people you’re like a better version of myself.

Do you remember an old birthday card I gave you once? It had a picture of a sugar packet and container of cream walking around together with the tagline:

“Said the sugar to the cream, ‘Will you be my friend?’ ‘Said the cream to the sugar, ‘Till the Very End.’ Happy birthday to my very best friend.”

That’s going to be us. And that very lucky girl I mentioned at the beginning of this story? That’s me. I’m a very lucky girl to have you as my best friend.

BFF

It’s rather unfortunate that most self-proclaimed “serious” movie buffs hate on Paul W. S. Anderson movies. I find them very entertaining (not everyone wants to see a super-serious movie that most directors make just to try to win an Oscar) and I think it’s great that most of Anderson’s films feature a strong female character who can take care of herself.

The most beautiful picture ever taken

I came across the most beautiful picture ever the other day. It’s actress Julianne Moore in an Alexander McQueen gown holding her baby daughter Liv Helen set across a backdrop of autumn leaves.

That got me thinking of Julianne Moore and the movies I had seen her in. I eventually came to the conclusion that she was one of the bravest and most raw actresses I had ever seen on screen, engaging in everything from taboo subject matter (incest, cannibalism) to “rated-R” sex and nudity. (Let’s just say you wouldn’t be comfortable watching most of Moore’s movies with your parents). Despite how distasteful that may sound, Moore manages to bring grace and elegance to every role. (And despite how much that sentence may have sounded like an oxymoron, I swear it’s true). Many of the films Moore has starred in have elements of darkness, and such explicit content only makes the performances more powerful and real. It doesn’t matter how you may personally feel about such material – I think we all have to agree that Moore is one brave lady.

When I think of an actress that’s the exact opposite of Moore, I think of Julia Roberts. Here’s a perky, beautiful actress who’s hardly ever appeared in a movie that made you do a double take. She’s America’s Sweetheart, an actress manufactured to appeal to the common masses. She’s a Disney character for adults, a woman who appears in movies you never have to think too deeply about because they’re simply not that important. You watch Julia Roberts in movies like Pretty Woman or Eat, Pray, Love. You watch Julianne Moore in Boogie Nights and Hannibal. Which one would you prefer? I thought so.

Julia Roberts is obviously not really like that in real life. She’s a hell of a lot more interesting. It’s just unfortunate that she doesn’t act in movies which require you to think too deeply. That’s a brand she’s fine with being labeled as, and while there’s nothing wrong with that, it unfortunately makes most of her movies terribly dull to watch.

I just personally like feeling uncomfortable or unsettled after watching a movie. Because by that very definition, it affected me in some way. It made me think about what I saw, long after the film has concluded. There wasn’t a clean-cut ending. And I can count on that whenever I watch a Julianne Moore movie. Her fearlessness is refreshing. Don’t mistake that for some twisted call for attention. Moore just doesn’t like to play it safe, and for that I have to salute her.

Some of my favorite Julianne Moore films -

Hannibal

Savage Grace

The Kids Are All Right