At Tryst in DC: We're not normally this hunched-over - just squeezing in to take this pic
My best friend, Losmeiya Huang, graduated from Stanford University with a degree in Human Biology in June 2010. She spent the summer working at a faith-based program called Bay Area Urban Projects (BayUP) in Oakland, CA. One of its intentions was for the participants to experience how low-income families live and the challenges they face. Losmeiya lived on a $15 per person per week budget, and was only allowed 1 hour on the phone/internet each week. Losmeiya finished the BayUP program several days ago and will write a blog entry detailing her experience later this week.
Because of of the whole “1 hour on the phone/internet each week” rule, we didn’t have any form of communication with one another for two months straight, the longest I’ve gone without speaking with her. I would send Losmeiya an email each week talking about what was going on in my post-grad life. It felt strange not to get a response. I felt like one of those people in a far-away land who would write letters home to my family for years on end but would never get a response back for one reason or the other. It was like shouting into the darkness, never knowing if anyone could hear me.
Surprisingly enough, I got through those two months just fine. Losmeiya’s the closest thing to family I have so imagine not talking to your parents for two months straight. Why is she so important to me?
Below is a (hysterically funny) letter I wrote for her on her 22nd birthday and a (hilarious yet heartfelt) story I wrote about the two of us last year.
MARCH 5, 2010 BIRTHDAY LETTER
Losmeiya, just in case you forgot, today was your 22nd birthday. What’s my gift to you? Nothing, except this note. It took me an hour to write and because I’m a Very Important Person, an hour of my time is worth $300. So that basically means I got you a $300 gift. You’re welcome.
You know what a 22nd birthday means? You’re just about done with college. That’s pretty crazy, considering the fact that it feels like yesterday when you told me you were going to Stanford. And when I told you I decided on Cornell in Ithaca, you said, “Where the hell is that?”
About a million things have changed since then. You decided to be a doctor, then decided you weren’t going to be a doctor, and then decided to be a doctor again. (My head is starting to spin). You decided you were an East Coast person after your stint in DC and said that you were going to die, JUST DIE if you had to stay in California. You began jetting off to places like Sierra Leone to help save lives. You dropped out of school for three months and joined a biker gang where you rode around stealing young children’s lunch money.
Oh wait, that last one was me.
What else has college done? It’s helped you to develop into the most mature and genuine person I know. You have much better judgment and sense than anyone I know at our age. I feel that’s why our relationship is so strong – we’re completely honest with each other and there are no facades. You make me laugh, I make you laugh even harder, and we talk about everything together. Knowing that you’re just a phone call away is the most comforting feeling in the world. Even though I only physically see you about 4-5 times a year, you might as well be living next door.
I know you have some post-grad anxieties right now (who doesn’t) but you shouldn’t be worried. I’ve looked into my crystal ball and see amazing things in your future. You’ll become a world famous doctor. Jeffrey Sachs and Nicholas Kristof will come to you for advice. You’ll develop your own foundation that puts the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation to shame. And you’ll win the Nobel Peace Prize. All before the age of 30.
You have a lot of work to do, amiga. Get busy – you’re going to change the world.
Your best friend since first grade (don’t any of you bitches forget it!),
Star
P.S. Just kidding about your gift. I’ll be getting you that TomTom GPS with a Snoop Dog voiceskin (you know, the one you’ve been unabashedly bothering me about) when we figure out whether or not you’ll be using your car post-grad. Ya DIGGG??
1999 at Knott's Berry Farm in CA
2009 at the Smithsonian zoo in DC
2089 at a nursing home somewhere
FEBRUARY 20, 2009 SPIRITCLIPS STORY
This is the story of friendship and a very lucky girl. And this story is dedicated to my best friend, Losmeiya.
Remember how we met in first grade? I remember being so impressed by you. You were always well dressed with lovely shoulder-length hair while I often came to school in mismatched clothes with my severely outdated upside-down bowl haircut.
You were so smart: I asked you once what a noun was in class one afternoon and you said very primly that it was a place, person, or thing. I remember being blown away and thought you were some kind of genius.
We became friends then and I’m not sure what compelled us to remain friends back when we were so young, especially when you moved away. Fate must have gotten involved somehow because I remember us always staying in touch.
Remember, starting around fifth grade when we’d meet up every weekend? I’d walk halfway from my home in Temple City, you’d walk halfway from your home in San Gabriel, we’d meet up, walk together to SuperDuper Video Store, borrow a DVD movie, split lunch at Dennys in that K-Mart plaza, walk back to your house to watch the movie, and then just hang out?
Remember how easily entertained we were? We’d hang out in your garage that was filled with scooters and that large backseat your dad took out from his van. You’d tell me jokes that you heard on the old television show “Whose Line Is It Anyway” and I’d always laugh hysterically. We’d play the “Clue” board game and I’d get mad when you won. We used to watch Britney Spears videos because we were both obsessed with her. We’d play make-believe games in your backyard which was always highly entertaining. How did we not get bored of this weekly routine?
Remember also how before we’d spend the entire day together, I’d call you when I woke up and we’d talk for an hour about god-knows-what and then literally meet up an hour later in person? How did we not get bored with one another?
Remember how during one Halloween, when we were out trick-or-treating, someone pointed to us and said, “Oh look, twins!”
Remember how easy-going and trusting our parents were? They were dropping us off at places like theme parks since we were 11 years old and never warned us about not talking to strangers, just “Don’t go on any scary rides!”
Remember how your mom was such a great cook and I used to eat dinner at your house more often than I did at my own? And when I told your mom she should open her own restaurant you said I was crazy and that if she did, I’d be the only customer?
Remember how you used to say the most ridiculous things?
“Star, someone died in the house I’m living in. That’s why we were able to get it for so cheap. In fact, he … WAS SHOT IN THIS VERY ROOM!”
“My name is very important. My dad spent months and months coming up with it. ‘Los’ is from the fact that we live in Los Angeles. ‘Mei’ means beauty in Chinese. And I’m not sure where he got the ‘ya’ from.”
I said some pretty ridiculous things as well.
“I was mean to you yesterday because my eyes turned green and a monster took over my body.”
“When I become the next Britney Spears, you can be my back-up dancer.”
“I can’t believe you won’t transfer schools to be with me! I thought we were best friends! … NO, I don’t think I’m being possessive and unreasonable. I don’t know where you’re getting that from.”
Remember how my mom made me go to China with her for a month back in July 2001 and I was so bored out of my mind I’d thought I go insane? I began writing long letters to you everyday, which was very therapeutic – it was like a diary for my thoughts but with you as the end reader. I still remember some of what I wrote – “Losmeiya, it’s so dirty here. I think if your mom saw the place she’d have a heart attack.” “Losmeiya, I’m SOO bored. And my mom’s mad because I didn’t bring my piano books with me. Like I want to spend an entire month practicing piano in China.” I remember you putting all my letters neatly together in a giant folder because I had written so much and you said my writing made you laugh.
Remember how we stopped hanging out as much when we got to high school? I began focusing on my schoolwork while you began winning speech competitions all over California?
I still remember when we made our college decisions – you were heading off to Stanford and I was going to Cornell. I never worried about us drifting apart – we had already gone through so much together.
But remember when you asked me to think over our relationship last summer because you felt our values had changed and we weren’t the same people we were in the past? I remember being offended because I didn’t want to consider the possibility that I was being a bad friend. But that really made me think about where I wanted our relationship to be 5, 10, 30 years from now. I feel that’s what going through marriage or couples counseling must be like. You’re in shock that your partner would accuse you of such things but when you think about it, realize that your partner’s right. Things aren’t the same now as they were in the past and we have to evolve together if we want to make it.
I remember how our relationship changed for the better after that. I feel so lucky now that you were mature enough to step back and say you weren’t happy with where we were headed. You said you did this because you cared enough about me to go through this uncomfortable phase because you had hope that I’d understand what you were doing.
Maybe that’s why we stayed best friends all these years. You were always there for me and made me a better person. I wasn’t close to my parents because they were working all the time and I didn’t have any siblings, but you were always there. I’ve only recently realized what a positive influence you were on me and I’m sure you will continue to be so as the years go by. In fact, when I’m asked to describe you, I just tell people you’re like a better version of myself.
Do you remember an old birthday card I gave you once? It had a picture of a sugar packet and container of cream walking around together with the tagline:
“Said the sugar to the cream, ‘Will you be my friend?’ ‘Said the cream to the sugar, ‘Till the Very End.’ Happy birthday to my very best friend.”
That’s going to be us. And that very lucky girl I mentioned at the beginning of this story? That’s me. I’m a very lucky girl to have you as my best friend.
BFF
