Naomi Watts and Samuel L. Jackson in "Mother and Child"

I’m not very intrigued by most women I see on the big-screen. They’re all very one-dimensional in some way, by no fault to the actress herself (because her role wasn’t fleshed out), and by no fault to the screenwriter (whose screenplay was most likely cut in half to make the movie more appealing to the mass audience). There are some whom I’ve admired because they’ve represented a career woman who (kind of) has it all, someone who I would like to emulate, but none that have really required me to think too deeply.

So it was interesting when I found Naomi Watt’s role in Rodrigo Garcia’s film “Mother and Child” to be completely fascinating. The movie is about “Karen (Annette Bening), a bitter physical therapist who envies her mother’s warm friendship with her housekeeper, who has a young daughter of her own. Karen resents this child, who reminds her of the baby she gave birth to and gave up for adoption. It is obvious — at least to the audience — that this baby, born when Karen was just 14, has grown up to be Elizabeth (Naomi Watts), a lawyer who also lives in Los Angeles, suspecting that her mother is out there somewhere.” (Thank you, NY Times, you guys always have the best descriptions).

Lovely trailer featuring the song “Little One” by Lucy Schwartz

I think a lot of people will hate Naomi Watts’s character. I like the NY Times’ description of her the best – “Elizabeth is ambitious and aloof, and uses her sexuality both as a way of drawing people to her and punishing them for her earlier abandonment. She seduces her new boss, Paul (Samuel L. Jackson), who is both intoxicated and terrified by her self-control. She also, out of what seems to be sheer meanness, goes to bed with a next-door neighbor whose wife is cheerful, pregnant and outgoing — everything Elizabeth is determined never to be.” Even worse, Watts leaves her underwear in the wife’s underwear drawer before sleeping with the husband, hoping the wife finds out. You kind of want to have her shot for this, but can’t help and sympathize where she is coming from.

Watts is angry because she was given up for adoption, her birth mother never searched for her, and she is not close to anyone in her life. She’s been completely independent since her late teen years, and made her way in the world with little help from anyone, including her adoptive parents. She’s turned out well as a high-powered lawyer, but is determined to stay independent and to never marry. Watch the clip below to see how she describes herself.

Despite how professional and impressive she looks and sounds, I don’t think I’ve seen someone with so much sadness inside. And unfortunately, I kind of see myself in her, not in terms of my mental state, but just by how independent we both were at a young age, how that has carried over to our lives now, and how that might affect our future.

My parents worked all the time when I was growing up, so I hardly ever saw them. I began stay home alone since the fifth grade (walk home, let myself in, do my homework, and watch cartoons on the WB). I didn’t have any siblings, so I always had to entertain myself in some way (I remember a lot of running around outside and watching movies). When it was time for college, I left home (Los Angeles) and moved to Ithaca, NY for Cornell (which is about the farthest you can possibly get from LA). And now, on the verge of graduating from college, I’ll be moving to St. Petersburg, FL, to work at American Express. In both cases, I threw myself in situations where I didn’t know anyone there, but I really like that characteristic of myself. Of being able to go anywhere, anytime, of doing whatever I felt would suit me the best – “I’ve gone wherever I’ve had to go to get ahead.”  I value my independence as well.

Now, I wouldn’t consider myself a loner in any way – I actually think I’m one of the most extroverted and friendly people I know, but I value my time alone. I think it’s fine to not have to be with someone 24/7 – I went on vacation for a week with a friend once one summer, and it was one of the most irritating experiences of my life. They were just always THERE. (Here’s a hint, if you go on vacation with someone, try to spend some time apart so you don’t end up killing each other).

I like to describe myself like this – I’m extremely outgoing around people, and am not shy in the least, but I do have a tendency to “shut down” when I go home and am alone.

Sometimes, I do find myself getting annoyed by people who always need to be with others, who always need to be in a relationship with someone, etc. They don’t like watching movies alone, buying groceries alone, etc, and they always need to call someone at the end of the day – “I need to know that I can talk to my boyfriend every night!”

I feel that one of the reasons why I’ve never felt the need to be in a relationship is because I’m extremely close to my best friend, Losmeiya (another single child). We’ve been best friends since first grade, and she knows me better than anyone else in this world. She’s one of the most genuinely good people I know, and I consider myself truly blessed to have a friend like her. I probably only get to see Losmeiya physically 4-5 times a year because she lives across the country, but we email and call each other so much it almost feels like she’s living next door.

However, even though I’m close with Losmeiya, she doesn’t define me or complete me in any way. I still think I’m one of the most independent people I know. And I like that about myself. I have the luxury of doing whatever I want and moving wherever I please without having to compromise for someone else. People who always cling to someone else, who jump from relationship to relationship, exasperate me. I am obviously jealous that they have someone, but I also view having to depend on someone else almost as a weakness. I want others to view me for myself, not for being the “girlfriend or wife of Person X”

Like Naomi Watts in the film, I’m irritated by something other people have that I’ve never experienced myself (love from a parent or partner). I certainly hope it will happen soon, but I’m definitely at a point in my life (22 years old) when my mom is starting to get a little frantic as to why I’ve never dated anyone, and always asks me about this whenever she calls.

It’s times like that when I begin to understand why Watts decides to do what she does. You begin to wonder if someone might be wrong with you, because you like being alone, and that’s why you’ve never dated or loved anyone. You then get angry because hell, something probably is wrong with you, and decide to take this anger out on others, such as seducing your boss and sleeping with your pregnant neighbor’s husband just because you can.

I don’t worry that I will anything even remotely horrific because 1) I believe in karma, and that whatever I do unto others will happen to me, 2) I have strong personal morals, and 3) I tell Losmeiya everything and she would probably fly across the country and slap me for even entertaining such thoughts. Losmeiya is one of the most morally upstanding people I know, and her opinion matters a lot to me. So, by default, I am one of the most morally upstanding people I know.

What’s the takeaway? Don’t be quick to judge others who’ve done something horrific too harshly until you’ve figured out why they did what they did. I don’t admire Naomi Watts’ character in any way, but I do understand where her anger is coming from.